The Mood Hoover

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James Fowler of UC San Diego and Nic Christakis of Harvard describe the ‘chain reaction’ of compassion and how it has a domino effect on those we come into contact with. Whilst I had been successful at the radio station, I was making a difference and winning awards etc, it was now time to move on. If the negativity continues, listen but don’t collude, nod and show empathy without feeding into the downward spiral about how awful the world is. This could be through mindfulness, yoga, watching a film/TV programme, taking part in a hobby, or even just talking to friends and/or family members. He is furthermore emotionally harming his children by being nice towards them and abusive towards you as their mother; it could only be a matter of time before they start viewing you the same.

If informal approaches haven’t worked, it will be time for the formal approach using the business’s disciplinary or possibly capability procedures. By ignoring the main issue of how a person’s behaviour is affecting others may be the right one in terms of not hurting the person’s feelings, but when is the right time to focus on our own individual needs rather than trying to keep the peace and not upset someone? I’ve also not totally written off the marriage but I don’t have the time or energy to focus on it right now with the kids being young so need some tools to get by over the next couple of years without him sucking the life out of me.Now, to be clear, when I talk about overly negative people , I don’t mean those who are occasionally negative – we all are from time to time. And then all we hear about is how much she did to help and the company that we've helped go on about how much she does and how we need more people to volunteer.

It's bloody infuriating because we all do offer and try to help but it isn't wanted unless it's to play a violin about how no one helps!

Two or three years more of this shit from him will wear you down and it will feel even harder to leave. I’ve been teaching online lessons and yes, it was hard at first, but you give it a go; try it out; learn; adapt. It’s important to be sure there is no substance within the work environment contributing to the employee’s negative attitude. If a mood hoover is unable to blame somebody else for their failure, you’ll notice they quickly pivot to pointing out the unreasonable behaviour or actions of another as an excuse. If the answer is in concern (worrying about things you can’t affect), this is a very negative space to operate in as a leader.